


Bad taste

by Patatarte



Series: The Cow Crew [3]
Category: cowchop, fakechop - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 14:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12060615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patatarte/pseuds/Patatarte
Summary: Aleks shows James some tricks in a rich mansion, they find out bad decorations





	Bad taste

Sometimes, you find many unwanted treasures in rich people’s houses. Sometimes you want to gauge your eyes out after seeing things in these houses. 

This is one of these times. 

Aleks wanted to break in a rich guy’s house for a long time, he saw it a while ago and wondered what attrocities could be inside . Since his early days of criminal life, he saw way too many houses interior, and the worst ones were always the rich’s ones.

James followed around because he needed to learn about the job in details, and even if Aleks isn’t the best teacher ever, James enjoyed it as a novelty. First, Aleks made a demonstration of how to neutralize a security alarm, almost killing himself in the process (who uses a full metal knife to cut wires ? That’s dangerous man !).

Then, after showing off his locksmith’s abilities, they finaly went inside.

It looked…strange right off the bat, but that wasn’t too unusual for Aleks who asked James to speed up a bit, looking for a room that was worth it. It was daylight so everything was easy to spot, so they walked down a hallway and checked quickly the rooms, looking for expensive and small stuff to steal.

James was just following, mostly curious about his surrounding but waiting for Aleks’ advices. He bumped into the Russian who stopped without any warning. Of course James cursed and almost raised his voice but remembered they weren’t in a friendly area. He just turned his head where Aleks was looking and understood.

“Is this…” Aleks sounded defeated.

“It is !” And James sounded way too joyful.

The room was dimly lit, soft pink curtains were probably used to hide the inside of the room to curious exterior’s eyes. James stepped in and giggled, a bit sad to wear gloves because he wanted to touch everything. Aleks slowly followed and grunted, opening his bag in an angry motion.

“I can’t believe that shit.” he started, seeing more of what was in the room. “Is that a giant crystal dick ?” It almost killed him to say this and James laugh was even worst.

“I mean, you know what a dick looks like, that’s definitly a crystal dick.”

The “sculpture” was the cherry on the top of the cake. It was where a fireplace was supposed to be, golden columns around it, spots even making it brighter. It was ridiculous, even worst than all the sex scenes in random materials surrounding them.

“We have to be quick, I want to get out of there.” Aleks stated, getting his knife out of his pocket and checking if James was doing the same.

Many of these…work of art, had jewlery on it and gems and most probably pearls and gold. That was ridiculous and so…decadent ? They took out a lot of everything until James missed a pearl and ended up elbowing something next to him.

With Cat-Like instinct, Aleks caught it before it fell on the floor but James started wheezing and pointed at the sculpture he was holding and…

“You are holding the horse…by the dick.” he was almost coughing because of it.

Aleks dropped it like he got shoked and the thing exploded on the floor, leaving a disaster of glass everywere. His eyes were suddenly shiny and bigs and James stopped laughing a second to understand what was going on in his friend’s head.

He understood when the russian started pushing all the lewd things on the floor, almost ashamed of touching them, but too glad to break them with small pushes like a cat. It was really loud and in the back of his head, James wondered if someone could hear it from outside, but he didn’t stop him.

When almost all of the stuff was destroyed, Aleks looked at the giant crystal dick, then back at James who just noded with a huge smile. Really, it was better for everyone if Aleks was breaking things outside of their own homes. And that dick was hideous anyways. Aleks walked toward it and James stopped him by a scream, making him freezes.

“Wait just a sec” he took his phone out and started filming, making Aleks rolls his eyes, annoyed. “Go on.”

The noise it made really alarmed the neighbors who were enjoying their pool, and the duo had to run away to avoid cops, but it was so much worth it. Some people really have weird taste in things.


End file.
